Most of you are unfamiliar with my story and how I became sick. Well, you're about to become a lot more familiar with it. A few weeks before my 10th birthday my best friend at the time injured my back pretty severely in a dance class. It was my "trigger event". That was the end of my healthy life as I knew it. And that friendship...she never reached out. All of this time, I've been living with the consequences of her mistake. I've dreamed about telling her exactly what happened for so long.
Now something happened that pushed me over the edge. A family member of mine, who knows how this girl ("B") hurt me, has become good friends with "B". Seeing these interactions on social media have made all of the horrible memories come flooding back. But I realized it's time I get some guts and say my piece. It's time I get closure.
So here it goes: This is to you "B" (super convenient that her first name starts with that letter - right?)
"Memories are flooding me as I write this. Playing in your backyard. Sleepovers. Dance Classes. But then something happened. You hurt me.
No, I'm not talking about my petty pre-teen feelings. I'm talking physically hurt me. So badly that I've had two spine surgeries and a neurovascular pain syndrome that is regarded by the national pain scale as the worst pain a person can feel. You. My "best friend". Did that to me.
See, I was sick. I have a few (okay more than a few) rare genetic diseases. No one, including me knew at the time of the injury. But, without this injury I would have had more years of ignorant bliss. More healthy years. But instead I've gotten to spend the last almost seven years in and out of the hospital. Instead I've had to relearn how to walk six times. Instead I've almost died more times than I can count. Instead I had two spine surgeries. And you never kept in touch. You never checked in. You didn't care. My "best friend".
Thank you. Because I've thrived in spite. I have realized my strength. I've realized the power of my voice. I've become an advocate. I've won national awards. I've had my writing published in Forbes and other media venues. I've lobbied Congress.
But, I'll never be able to dance again. I can't go to regular high school - I'm too sick. I'll never be able to breathe properly. I'll always be in pain. I've missed out on so many normal teenage experiences. I missed out on maximizing my healthy years.
I have two huge scars as permanent reminders of you. It only seems fair I return the favor. So, here you go - a permanent reminder. Because it isn't fair that I alone carry the weight of something that could have been prevented. Something my "best friend" did to me. Maybe you won't read this. Maybe you'll brush it off. Maybe you won't even remember - god how I envy you for even that possible luxury.
But this isn't about you. This is about me. And I deserve a sincere apology. I deserve respect. I deserve closure. I deserved this so long ago it's ridiculous. I deserved support and a good friend, one who cared. I deserved better than what happened to me."
So, now that I've gotten that off of my chest...quick poll: how many readers think I should send this link to "B" and how many think I should leave well enough alone and as the song says "let it go"? Also wondering if any of you have had similar experiences and what you've done.
Xoxo,
Sick Chick